Boomers Face Different Issues Than Younger Generations When It Comes To Online Dating
You may have grown children, grand children and aging parents. These can have an effect on how you view online dating and how you connect with possible mates.
I don’t think you necessarily have to find a mate that matches your family dynamics, but it is something you need to think about.
Let’s look at some scenarios boomers should think about:
- You have grown children and grand children that live near you. This would mean that in all likelihood they would visit, possibly often. So you would probably want to look for a man/woman who also has children and grand children as they would be more comfortable with the ‘visits’. Now that is not to say a man/woman who does not have children wouldn’t be. But if you did contact a man/woman who did not have children you would want to tell them about your family dynamics. You would also, most likely, want to date someone in your own area.
- You have grown children and grand children that don’t live near you. So looking for a man/woman who also has children and grand children may not be an issue. Yes you and your new love may visit them, but on a day to day basis it would not be an issue. You could look for a man/woman who did or did not have children. You would just need to be open about your family dynamics so it would come as a shock when you want to visit them. You could date someone local, another city or another country.
- You don’t have children and may not want the ‘limitations’ of dating someone who has children / grand children. For example you may want to travel extensively in your retirement. You may want to only connect with men/women who don’t have children as well. That is not to say a man/woman with children or grand children couldn’t travel, but there certainly would be more to consider. You could date someone local, in another city, or another country.
- You didn’t have children but actually would love the family dynamics of children and grand children. When you connect with someone through online dating you just need to be open about that desire so the person you connect with feels confident that their family will not become an issue.
Be Open & Honest
Here is a situation I know of personally. She is not a boomer but I still think the story is worth telling.
She met a man though online dating. She told him she had school age children. He did not have any children. He lived in another country so she went to visit him and he went to visit her. Everything went well and he moved to her country and moved in with her. They got married. It became more and more apparent as time went on that he was not comfortable with around the children. She was not prepared to give up custody and not be in their lives at that point so he ended up moving into his own home. Now that does not mean they did not love each other, it was simply the home situation was not comfortable for him. Eventually and children decided on their own they wanted to live with their father so she was able to rejoin her husband. They are happily married.
The above scenario could have turned out very differently.
The strain of being apart could have torn the relationship apart. If the honesty had been there right up front they may never have dated. Do you want to risk falling in love with an online dating connection to only have it fall apart over family?
To avoid this be open and honest with anyone you meet online prior to setting up a meeting off line. Think about it this way. You can’t change anyone, you certainly can’t change family dynamics.
Now aging parents and boomer online dating is another story and I will cover that in a different article.
