I have had several messages that ‘basically’ say “you only meet losers online” so I wanted to talk about it.
Online dating is very similar, yet so much better, than meeting someone in person in many ways.
When you meet someone in person, for the first time, 9 times out of 10 you will judge them by the way they look. Hair, face, eyes, clothes, voice, etc. In fact, so many ‘in person’ meetings go side-ways because of the initial impression (ah yes…first impression). When you meet someone online, what you read, and see, is in fact your first impression. But so different than the first meeting off line. Why? Because through online dating you take the time to get to know who the person is ‘inside’, the outside really becomes secondary in so many ways.
Let’s look at some basics.
Most of us are judged, or we judge, what we first see, in first meetings, whether it is work or personal.
Some folks are lucky, in the ‘physical’ sense, with long blonde hair and blue eyes – or – 6’2″ and a great build. But in fact, we are really ‘us’ underneath. The outward part is really now ‘who we really are’. On the surface, we are just this physical that God gave us. Some lucky, some not. And as us Baby Boomers age the outward is not as great as it use to be -right? But the ‘inner’ has grown and so much better.
So if you are saying there are “losers” out there, yah maybe, but try to look past the physical.
If someone messages you who is 350lbs and bald, but you were looking for someone who is 200lbs and with curly greying hair, don’t ignore the contact. That person may have the heart and soul that would love you forever and give you everything in life. You may see past the weight and loss of hair. We are not ‘young’ anymore, we have some flaws too.
My point here, and jump up and down on me if you think I am wrong, is that I do not believe we should judge anyone by their ‘cover’. Who they/we are “inside” is so much more important than who they/we are “outside”.
If you do not find the person physically attractive, no chemistry, then yes it probably won’t work, of course. But when you are on an online dating membership site at least you can learn about someone from the inside out. Chances are you will love the inside and learn to love the outside with the imperfections aging brings.
I happily advise you to take that step. I did when I was 50 and we have been married for almost 15 years now (yes I am a boomer).
